All The Time In The World
by myshipperheart17
Summary: Lots and lots of spoilers for the season 4 finale! A re-imagining of what could have happened towards the end of Operation Mongoose. Captain Swan fluff. I don't own these amazing characters, they belong to the brilliant OUAT team.


**So after that loft scene in the finale, I couldn't not write my own version of it! Emma's thoughts when she is reunited with him, and then a little imagining of what might have been had they not immediately gone to Granny's. Hope you enjoy! Need lots of cute Captain Swan stuff to get me through until September!**

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Emma had never been so terrified in her entire life. From the moment she watched her father drive his sword through Killian's heart, she felt like she couldn't breathe - she had tunnel vision, and all she could focus on was getting to that church and ending this, returning them to reality. She couldn't fully allow herself to think about what it would mean if they failed.

She'd meant every word of what she said to Regina. Her heart hurt in a way she didn't know was possible, knowing what a terrible mistake she had made. It was like a cold, icy dread had seeped into her body and taken over, a sick guilt at the thought of him dying without knowing how much she loved him. Because she did. She loved him more than she had ever known it was possible to love another human being (with the exception of Henry). And that's what made it so huge and so scary; telling him she loved him wasn't like telling anyone else. It was the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle, and once she said it she had a feeling everything would be different - no more running. No more getting out before getting hurt.

The ridiculous thing was that she knew that wasn't something she actually had to worry about, because he adored her. She knew the only reason he hadn't already come right out and said it was because he was respecting her stupidly high walls, helping break them down gently and gradually, and never pressuring her. He didn't say it, he just showed it in everything that he did, and this was how she repaid him. He took her completely by surprise, and yet he was everything she had ever wanted, and instead of telling him that, she chickened out. Every. Single. Time.

So when they came crashing back to reality, all she wanted was to see him, to assure herself that he was alive and breathing, and tell him all of the things she feared she'd never get the chance to. To tell him she loved him, that she didn't want to be afraid of that anymore, and let go of the demons from her past that kept getting in her way. When she couldn't immediately find him, her stomach churned and her eyes stung, a sick panic that somehow Gold had managed to ensure that Killian really did die shooting through her, suffocating her. And then he appeared, his usual charming self, smiling and joking, and she couldn't get to him fast enough. Her body went into overdrive and she flung herself into his arms, hearing herself laughing when just moments before she had been on the verge of a panic attack. She held on to him so tight that they lost their balance, toppling on to her bed, and she revelled in the feel of him - he was here, and alive. She had her chance with him. He was gazing at her as if she was the most perfect thing he'd ever seen, and she knew he knew she wanted to say it.

And then she didn't.

As the words left her mouth, a pitiful "thanks for saving the day", she felt her heart sink.

What was she doing?!

Her pulse was racing, and she felt an overwhelming guilt seeing that tiny flicker of hurt pass over his face before regaining his composure. Anyone else might have missed it, but not her. She knew him. They knew each other, and that's what made this even worse. He knew she loved him, so the fact that even after watching him die she still couldn't get the words out must be killing him. But, as ever, he wouldn't say so, and his unflinching respect for her boundaries made her feel even worse.

While her mind was racing, and she was figuring out where to go from here, however, all of a sudden he was kissing her. And the feel of being back here with him, in his arms, with him kissing her like there was no tomorrow (which, there very nearly wasn't) made everything else suddenly get a little hazy.

"Emma, Killian, we're heading to Granny's…" Snow had shouted from downstairs.

She vaguely remembered pulling back from him just long enough to tell her mother that they'd catch up with them there later, and as the door to the loft clicked shut it was as if they were completely alone in the world.

And suddenly clothes were shed, guilt and "what ifs" were forgotten, and she allowed herself to just get completely lost in him.

Later, as she lay curled up with her head against his chest, his hand running lazy circles on her back, she wasn't sure she had ever felt so content. Yet the voice in her head telling her what an epic mistake she had made before still wouldn't quiet. She was so, so lucky Henry had been able to undo what Isaac did to Killian, and it was the millionth reminder they'd had that life is short, and everything could change in an instant. She found herself propping herself up on her elbows beside him, smiling at his sleepy expression, his eyes drifting closed.

"Killian," she whispered. There was no-one else home, yet somehow she felt it was appropriate to whisper.

"Mhmm…" he replied, drowsily looking up at her.

"I lied before…"

She'd gotten his attention. He sat up, running his hand through his ruffled hair.

"About what, love?"

There it was again. That vague flicker of hope in his eyes. No matter how much it terrified her, she couldn't back out again, she couldn't do that to him. Or to herself.

"I mean, I meant what I said… when I thanked you for sacrificing yourself. Of course I was grateful. But that wasn't what I was trying to say."

A smile played on his lips, and he nodded.

"I see."

She paused to take a breath, and looked up to meet his gaze. He was looking at her so adoringly it should have frightened her, but now it seemed to have to opposite effect. She felt a wave of calm rush over her, and part of her wondered what the hell she'd been so afraid of.

"I thought I lost you, Killian," she began, "I thought you were dead, and there was a chance we might not be able to fix it. And the thought that you could die without knowing how much you mean to me… I couldn't handle it."

He was fighting a smile, history telling him not to get too hopeful.

"I love you," she whispered, "I love you so much, I don't even know how to say it."

She didn't think she'd ever seen anyone look quite so happy in her entire life. She was so caught up in the joy on his face that it took her by surprise when he reached up to brush a tear from her face with his thumb.

"Swan," he whispered in return, "You have no idea how…"

She cut him off with a kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck, the relief of having finally letting go of her fear taking over.

"I think I do," she replied, taking his hand and entwining her fingers with his.

"Emma. I love you more than anything in this world. I think… well, I hope that isn't a surprise to you. But I swear, I've never found anything harder in my life than keeping those words from you. So many time, I…"

"I know," she interrupted, grasping his hand harder, "It was my fault. I was scared and I kept thinking "we've got all the time in the world"... and that was wrong. I should have told you so much sooner."

He smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"You've told me now, love. And honestly? I knew how you felt. Feelings like this can't possibly be one sided. I just knew you needed time."

She snuggled back into his side, wondering how it was possible to feel this complete.

"And besides, who could blame you for falling in love with such a devilishly handsome pirate."

After what had been one of the worst days of her life, it was hard to believe she was laughing now. Normally she would have bitten back with a cheeky remark of her own, but for now she was happy to let him have his moment.

After a few moments of content silence, her phone beeped loudly from the floor beside her bed. She sighed and leaned down to lift it, finding a text from her father.

"Emergency at Gold's - his heart is giving up. Could really use your help, and Hook's?"

She held her phone up to let Killian read the message, and he rolled his eyes.

"Ahh well, I suppose we knew we couldn't stay here forever."

"Yep," she sighed, "Duty calls."

A little later, with no idea what danger awaited them at Gold's shop, they left the loft hand in hand. And at that very moment, Emma couldn't imagine her heart feeling any happier.

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 **Got to write cute fluffy moments to keep the dream alive during this stressful time! Feedback is very much welcomed :)**


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